July 01, 2013
from the words happy birthday, 3 A.M, tears, midnight.
I'd turned 18 last Wednesday, i hate Wednesday as much as i hate TV commercials. That was quite random.
I still question myself how they gain money from 1 hour TV shows that have about 25 commercials break each 5 minute. Pissed myself.
So i decided it wasn't Wednesday. Wednesday is such a vague day, i don't like its sound. Wednesday sounds like a crocodile which has a cancer on its nail. I can't even imagine anything worse than that.
What does happy birthday mean for some people?
gifts; prays; aging; happiness; surprises; cakes; candles; songs.
happy birthday is only an obligation everyone should report to someone who celebrate it that day. Without much other intention. I don't find it meaningful.
I don't crave for gifts, it would be so much pain in the ass having someone spend their money on you. What so special about turning a year older. Indeed I'm thankful that i could live longer than someone who probably died on the same day i turn a year older. Indeed.
But then it would be a lie if you don't want someone to remember your birthday. You'll whine and complain about no one love me or no one care about me. Bitch please. I like birthday greetings as for someone actually remember the date or they perhaps accidentally saw my birthday on facebook or such. That's okay.
I root for their sincere wishes for me.
Cakes are cool. Songs are okay. Surprises should be valued.
But no, i don't demand them.
Actually i really wish for serenity on my birthday, when i worth all my time. Spend my time alone with no one along.
Because I'm so odd.
And no, i would never complain to the slightest on that day.
Even if that happened a very bad day for me, no. That would be so unfair.
Birth day is so a risky day. Because you require a perfect day and goes as what you wish.
Then you gloom yourself when nothing special costs your love. You then upset.
Okay that sounds so ungrateful.
It was 3 A.M when people's mind goes wild. The mood is so much thin than it is on the day.
I was wide awake and my tears were falling down my left cheek.
I got out from my blanket because i wanted be alone. Even letting my blanket shielding me was so much pain it.
I didn't want it to taste my bitter.
I'm well known with my mood swings. People can't be mess with me. Or if they want to see my darkest and worst side. Cannot be tolerate.
I eschew myself from being awake in the midnight. Midnight gives me so much nightmares than if i were sleeping. Mortal enemy it is.
Well, my best friends don't even know if i exist.
