hey
i'm okay
i wish i was.
i'm okay
if okay means the reverse of it
anyway, it's been awhile. i wanna confess some things but it should be written during the night
so probably won't be much will i write here.

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now i forgot what was i going to confess??
anyway, i'm good now. just maybe tired but not too much tired as well.
maybe i'm just bored and i don't even have a friend to talk to.
like.. really.
it's either they create a space between me and them or that i push them away,
not wanting to talk to them.
but recently been able to chat with my high school friends and it feels just good.
still i wish to talk to them in real.

i told my mom, why that i entered high school that has no more than 20 people in a single class, and when i entered university i have to leave them again. i have no friends.

which is true. Now i only could reach them by phone or message which i have no time for that.
I mean. I mostly tired at nights and at weekends, i don't know. At the end i'm the one who made no effort.

Work has been mundane, there was the time when i was super busy. I like it. Being busy could keep me from overthinking or thinking negative things. But still i haven't fit well here.
Gosh wow i am so depressed but i feel numb over things. Like.... Oh...

I'll re-start my college this year. Still going to take Literature which is my passion.
I'm still going to work too but i have no plan on taking another job. Still not in my thoughts.
I hope everything's going to be okay for my friends. Literally.

I miss blogging so much. It's that i have so much things to write but i have no chance. Here i am, typing while no one is here yet. So there's no eye watching me at the moment. It's that i have so much to write but it is all gone. My happy sad thoughts has floated away i don't remember them anymore.

ok i have to go now.