endeavor myself to write poems
it's harder than any homeworks i ever done
i mean, my mind is not that wild
like.. how one could write so beautifully
what has happened to their life
what has inspired them to write such horrible sentences
what has consumed them?

all i can think is only like
uhm bubble gum, goose feather, snake, rotating bone,
ignoreme - not
omg what should i do, i should write it's just like i should!
i need to..
but i have to improve my poor grammar and English
gah
life is so unfair like - inspiration only nest in someone's head
and just like, i have to invite any ideas to mine but nothing came!
do you kno w how it hurts me hahaha!

rotate my bones and tie me up with my veins
pull out my intestines and wear it as necklace
you are so beautiful wearing me around you
like a fox feather scarf

forget it.. my mind is not in a good state i have to read more and write more
but i don't know i will just maybe store them for awhile and then bomb
i gotta get outta this suffocating place
i don't even know what i'm saying at this very moment
anyway i made an Instagram account only for my poems
shitty poems but whatever.
i am so envy with those peculiar brainy kids with words and swords
i wanna be like them
drinking their own popularity and just - be beautiful
i want to do something good enough for people to see me
i want to worth the second glance

tell me your most peculiar affection
tell me how you never like rose or dandellion
tell me secrets you never tell anyone about


tell me i have to keep writing i don't want to stop
just like how you don't want to stop eating those full of fat chocolate
and how you don't want to stop texting your crush that 
will never reply to your feelings
ha
hahaha at me
omg i haven't write so much in this blog. it's been an age
and August about to end, that means September is coming
do you know what September means?
my birthday
and also
a month i will go back to university
again
i took literature
like i'd took my oxygen tank ofcourse
to live my future
and i won't regret taking this major

ok bye